Post some jokes?

[NationWebHost]

Number 1
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A farmhand is driving round the farm, checking the fences. After a few minutes he radios his boss and says, "Boss, I"ve got a problem. I hit a pig on the road and hes stuck in the bull-bars of my truck. Hes still wriggling ? what should I do?"
"In the back of your truck theres a shotgun. Shoot the pig in the head and when it stops wriggling you can pull it out and throw it in a bush."

The farm worker agrees and signs off. About 10 minutes later he radios back. "Boss I did what you said, I shot the pig and dragged it out and threw it in a bush."

"So whats the problem now?" his Boss snapped.

"What will I do with his speed camera?"

Number 2
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Paddy says to Murphy "can you guess the odd one out fella"

A. Egg
B. Wife
C. BloKWWHob

Murphy says "well paddy, I would have to say bloKWWHob"
Paddy says "why's that Murphy?"
Murphy says "well, you can beat an egg and you can beat your wife, but you can't beat a good bloKWWHob"

Number 3
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Blonde takes her car for repair and fears an expensive bill. Mechanic fixes it in 2 mins saying "nothing wrong, just shit in the air filter" she replies "how often"?

Number 4
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An Italian, a Frenchman and a Scouser are discussing their relative performance in bed. The Italian says - "When I've a finshed a makin da love with my girlfriend I go down and gently tickle the back of her knees, she floatsa 6 inches abovea da bed in ecstasy" The Frenchman replies - "Zat is nossing, when Ah 'ave finished making ze love with my girlfriend Ah kiss all ze way down her body and zen Ah lick zer soles of her feet wiz mah tongue and she floats ze 12 inches above ze bed in pure ecstasy" The Scouser says - "Dat's nothin, when I've finished shaggin me bird, I get out of bed, walk over to da winda and wipe my knob clean on da curtains. She hits the ****in roof !!!"

Post yours!

NationWebHost Reviewed by NationWebHost on 7th Jul 2010. Post some jokes? Number 1 ----------- A farmhand is driving round the farm, checking the fences. After a few minutes he radios his boss and says, "Boss, I"ve got a problem. I hit a pig on the road and hes stuck in the bull-bars of my truck. Hes still wriggling ? what should I do?" "In the back of your truck theres a shotgun. Shoot the pig in the head and when it stops wriggling you can pull it out and throw it in a bush." The farm worker agrees and signs off. About 10 minutes later he radios back. "Boss Rating: 5

[Daniel]

[KP-Fortune]

One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck.

The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car.

He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle.

Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires.

The blonde started laughing.

This made the man angrier so he smashed her windshield.

This time the blonde laughed even harder.

Livid, the man broke all her windows and keyed her car.

The blonde is now laughing hysterically, so the truck driver asks her what's so funny.

The blonde giggles and replies, "When you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle three times!"

[NationWebHost]

Two crisps were walking down the street, a taxi stops and asks do they want a lift, they reply "No thanks, we're walkers!"

[Daniel]

An APB on God

A couple had two little boys, ages eight and ten, who were excessively
mischievous.

The two were always getting into trouble and their parents could be
confident that if any mischief occurred in their town, their two young
sons were involved in some capacity. The parents were at their wit's
end as to what to do about their sons' behavior.

The parents had heard that a clergyman in town had been successful in
disciplining children in the past, so they contacted him, and he agreed
to give it his best shot. He asked to see the boys individually, so the
eight-year-old was sent to meet with him first. The clergyman sat the
boy down and asked him sternly, "Where is God?"

The boy made no response, so the clergyman repeated the question in an even sterner tone, "Where is God?"

Again the boy made no attempt to answer, so the clergyman raised his
voice even more and shook his finger in the boy's face, "WHERE IS GOD?"

At that, the boy bolted from the room, ran directly home, and slammed
himself in his closet. His older brother followed him into the closet
and said, "What happened?"

The younger brother replied, "We are in BIG trouble this time. God is missing and
they think we did it!"

[NationWebHost]

a guy with spiked green, red, blue and yellow hair sat next to an old man who just started staring at him.
spiked guy finally snapped sarcastically... 'whats the matter grandad? you never done anything wild in your life?'
without batting an eyelid old man replied ... "got drunk once, shagged a parrot and i was just wondering if you were my son"