Q. What's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?
A. A mosquito stops sucking when you smack it.

Q. How is a pussy like a grapefruit?
A. The best ones squirt when you eat them.

Q. What's the difference between acne and a Catholic Priest?
A. Acne won't come on a kid's face until around 13 or 14 years of age.

Q. How do you turn a fox into an elephant?
A. Marry it.

Q. Why does a bride always wear white?
A. Because its good for the dishwasher to match the stove and Refrigerator.

Q. What is the difference between a battery and a woman?
A. A battery has a positive side.

Q. How do you tell if a chick's too fat to fuck?
A. When you pull her pants down and her ass is still in them.

Q. What's the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker?
A. A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.

Q. Do you know why they call it a Wonder Bra?
A. When you take it off, you wonder where her tits went.

Q. Why is it so hard for women to take a piss in the morning?
A. Ever try to peel apart a grilled cheese sandwich?

Q. Why don't pygmies wear tampons?
A. They keep stepping on the strings.

Q. What's the definition of a macho woman?
A. One who rolls her own tampons.

Q. How do we know God is a man?
A. If God was a woman, sperm would taste like chocolate.

Q. Why do women rub their eyes in the morning?
A. They don't have balls to scratch.

Q. What's the definition of making love?
A. Something a woman does when a man is humping her.

Q. What's the best thing about Alzheimer's disease?
A. You get to meet new people every day.

Q. What do rednecks do for Halloween?
A. Pump kin.

Q. Why is it difficult to find men who are caring, sensitive, and good
looking?
A. They've got boyfriends already.

Q. Why do women close their eyes during sex?
A. They can't stand seeing a man have a good time.

Q. Why do men like bloKWWHobs?
A. It's the only time they get something into a woman's head straight.

Q. What's the biggest problem for an atheist?
A. No one to talk to during an orgasm.

Q. What's worse than a cardboard box?
A. Paper tits.

Q. What's 60 feet long and smells of piss?
A. A conga line at an old folk's home.

Q. Why are electric trains like a mother's breast?
A. They were both designed for kids, but it's the fathers who are always
playing with them.

Q. What do women and dog turds have in common?
A. The older they are, the easier it is to pick them up.

Q. What do laxatives and women have in common?
A. They both irritate the shit out of you.

Q. What's the best thing about a blow job?
A. Five minutes of peace and quiet.

Q. What's the difference between Bill Clinton and JFK?
A. One got his head blown off, and the other was assasinated.

Q. What's the difference between a lawyer and God?
A. God doesn't think he's a lawyer.

Q. What's the difference between toilet paper and toast?
A. Toast is brown on both sides.

Q. What's soft and warm when you go to bed, but hard and stiff when you
wake up?
A. Vomit.

Q. What's the medical term for a `female-to`-male sex change operation?
A. A Strapadictomy.

Two condoms were walking past a gay bar. One says to the other,
"Whaddya say we go in there and get `shit-faced`!"

Q. Why is the space between a girl's tits and hips called the waist?
A. Because you could put another pair of tits in there.

Q. What's the similarity between getting a blow job from an eighty year old and walking a tightrope?
A. In both cases, you don't really want to look down.

Q. What's the difference between a dog and a fox?
A. About eight beers.

Q. How do you embarass an archaeologist?
A. Give him a used tampon and ask him which period its from.


Reply for the laugh...it was for fun...please don't talk crap about "it's been posted before, if it has "
Siruthuli Reviewed by Siruthuli on . Some old jokes...worth the read LOL Q. What's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A. A mosquito stops sucking when you smack it. Q. How is a pussy like a grapefruit? A. The best ones squirt when you eat them. Q. What's the difference between acne and a Catholic Priest? A. Acne won't come on a kid's face until around 13 or 14 years of age. Q. How do you turn a fox into an elephant? Rating: 5